Deepening Your Practice
How to bring mindfulness into your entire life
Mindfulness makes it possible for us to appreciate the fullness and depth of life, and be there for it all. The joys, the sorrows, and the neutral moments in between. It allows us to be in acceptance of the nature of human existence, not in denial of it.
I’m not interested in necessarily showing you how to GET RID of anything. “Get rid of my anxiety. Get rid of my frustration. Get rid of that stinging pain.”
That’s not really the promise of mindfulness. You see, I’m more interested in showing you how to you pay attention to things in a transformative way. Not to get rid of it. But to actually lean into it, build a relationship with it, and process it completely. Sure, you might want to get rid of anxiety, but perhaps the goal we’re all unknowingly after is to transmute and transform anxiety.
Rather than throwing something away and rejecting it, mindfulness teaches how to lean in, how to pour concentration, clarity and equanimity into the discomfort. The transformation can be perceived like this: anxiety transform to relaxation, or anxiety can be perceived as vibratory flow (just like joy or fatigue!)
Ultimately, mindfulness allows us to pay attention in a way that offers us a portal to liberation. To freedom.
But to get to that flavor of freedom, we must take interest in where we’re looking, and how you’re looking at it.
So the question born out of the work we’ve been doing these last 4 days is this:
How do we use these practices in everyday life, and not just in crisis?
The answer: Develop and commit to a regular mindfulness practice.
Have you tried to bring meditation into your life? Is your meditation practice relegated to the once-in-a-blue-moon category of habits in your tool shed?
When you go to sit, are you clueless about which technique to use? Are you bored with the mainstream ones out there, or do some of them (like following the breath) have no resonance for you?
Do you sometimes listen to guided meditations on apps like Insight Timer, 10% Happier, and Headspace? But you feel like you’re in the dark, and can’t access the bigger picture of how to build a practice? How to build a practice that addresses your challenges, and your goals?
Trust me, I get it. I’ve been there. Setting up a consistent, strong practice that supports your goals is no cake walk. But it’s possible.
Until I started to really dive into systems led by mindfulness teachers and until I started to sit in community with mentors to point the way for me, my practice was all talk, no action. I meditated once in a while and felt like my practice wasn’t going anywhere (and worse, I wasn’t really developing the results we hear about in mindfulness - mainly concentration, clarity, equanimity). I struggled with addiction, emotional roller coasters and identity issues for years too; the way I was practicing mindfulness, there was just no way to enact real change in my life that way. Not only that, but…
You probably feel more necessity, more urgency, to develop a practice while you’re IN crisis, than when things are status quo or not that bad.
But here’s the thing: mindfulness awareness and techniques bear fruit over time. This isn’t a great quick-fix remedy. Yes, you can experience relief after a 20 minute sit (or even a 2 minute micro hit practice). But, this is a mileage game. This is about the daily reps. Having a consistent practice (crisis or not), allows you to work the attentional muscles to show up for the big life events when they show up.
Guess what? Big life events (death, tsunamis, PANDEMICS) usually don’t give us advanced warning. They just hit us.
When you have a consistent mindfulness practice for weeks, months or even years before those big life events, you’re equipped to surf the waves that life presents you simply by activating the mindfulness tools you know like the back of your hand.
In other words, we practice not for the immediate rewards, but for the fruit of the mileage. When we practice those reps, we’re training for the big game (and in the case of life, we don’t get much warning about when we’ll be thrown into the game).
Here are strategies for starting your mindfulness practice
Strategy #1: Set the scene.
Find a space in your home (or elsewhere), where you will consistently practice meditation (specifically formal practice). No need for an altar (unless you want to create a special space that’s adorned with things that feel sacred and aligned for you). Maybe you sit in the same spot everyday? Or maybe you use the same chair or zafu (meditation pillow). Bring some intention and curiosity to this endeavor. When you train your body to sit in the same posture (in the same spot) over time, it becomes easier to sit regularly and settle into your practice. You’re cultivating spatial cues to support a consistent practice.
TIP: I recommend covering your lap and/or shoulders with a light blanket when you meditate. Keep water by you, and make sure your devices are silenced while you’re meditating. And, keep a journal next to you so that you can jot down insights after your sit.
Strategy #2: Commit to a time window.
Notice how I said that you should commit to a time window, not an exact time, for your daily meditations! You can select a 2.5 hr time window, like a morning ritual time window of 7am-9:30am. During that time window, you just need to get in your 10 or 20 minute meditation practice (along with any other activities in your morning ritual). This gives you flexibility and is less rigid than setting the same time daily. Time windows work for me in that they offer the spaciousness that allows me to feel free without being over scheduled, or stuck in a box.
NOTE: If an exact time each day works for you, do it! If simply committing to doing your meditation before the day ends, is an effective motivator, then do it! Whatever works to support you. Feel free to try on different methods to see which one works best.
Strategy #3: Make mindfulness your #1 priority in the day.
What would it mean to make mindfulness meditation your #1 priority each day? What other priorities do you currently put in front of mindfulness? Work? Relationships? Watching Netflix after a long day in front of the screen?
This is about clarifying your priorities, and deciding that this ritual, this tool, this endeavor, takes precedence over all else. You’ve got to decide to make a commitment, and in order to develop a new habit worth committing to, sometimes you’ve got to put that new habit on the ‘No matter WHAT’ list.
But is that enough? That brings us to Strategy #4.
Strategy #4: Get clear on your WHY.
In order to keep Mindfulness Meditation in the #1 slot of your priorities list, you need to understand why it’s in that coveted spot. Why’s it the most important thing you do in the day? Here are some major reasons to prioritize your practice:
The more you do mindfulness meditation, the more you’ll develop equanimity. With increased equanimity, there’s a decrease in craving (wanting more) and aversion (turning away). Equanimity is like a strong ship at sea: you’re the steady ship at sea, amidst the sunny, calm days, as well as the amidst the hurricane winds and choppy sea. You stay afloat regardless of the weather conditions, and you’re able to float and be IN it, whatever arises.
Awareness and sensory clarity catapults to new levels, giving you MORE access to your life (by way of richer experiences with the stuff of life). You can sense more readily when something is going wrong in your life, or in your body, or in your relationships. That’s because you have the clarity to detect what’s happening in your sense gates.
Spontaneous joy just shows up throughout the day, peppering life with a layer of sweetness that makes any mundane experience suddenly fascinating and sacred. When you build that relationship and a familiarity with joy and pleasure, you’re more equipped to experience more of it at deeper levels. Not only that, but you’ll be inclined to lean toward it as a resource when times get tough.
Want to develop your WHY factor so that you can fuel your daily practice?
Try journaling daily. Journal about your meditation practice and reflect on its impact on your life and the changes you're witnessing in yourself. This is a key integration phase and drives your 'why'. Look at the impact of meditation on your relationship with yourself, your interpersonal relationships, your passions, your career, and the insights arising in your life.
Strategy #5: Decide on your technique before you sit.
Before you go to meditate, decide on which technique or techniques you’re going to work with in your sit. You can also put on a guided meditation in an app like Insight timer, Bright Mind or Headspace, and allow them to guide you in your sit.
You can determine your technique set for your week, or even your month, by determining your goals and identifying which techniques would support you in cultivating your desired goals or outcomes.
I recommend working with a mindfulness coach to identify this intentional approach to your practice. You can do a one-off session once in a while to identify this strategy set, or even work more regularly with a mindfulness coach to accelerate your growth and clarity on your path and practice.
Now that you have your strategies in place to help you jump start your meditation practice, here’s a recap on the 4 ways you can apply mindfulness. These application types work to help you integrate mindfulness into your daily life in manageable and accessible ways.
You truly can have a consistent, powerful practice that allows you to access relief, a decrease in anxiety, an increase in deep relationships, and a higher level of satisfaction.
The diversity of mindfulness applications offered by Unified Mindfulness support you in achieving that.
The 4 Ways to Apply Mindfulness
You don’t need to sit for 30 minutes to an hour a day in half lotus position on a special meditation pillow every single day in order to reap the benefits of mindfulness! You’re welcome to do those longer sits, but they’re not essential. Below are the 4 ways you can practice mindfulness, and the use case for each.
Formal Practice:
Here’s what you probably think of when you think of mindfulness… This is where you apply full attention on the technique at hand, for 10 minutes or more. This can very often be done in a seated position, but that’s not an essential component to be considered a formal practice.
The less tradition ways to work with mindfulness (that get you results!)
Trigger Practice
An Accelerator
Trigger practice is when you use a sensory event as a trigger to start working with a technique in that moment of arising. For example, if you feel anxiety arise, that can be your trigger to go into the technique Feel Rest. When anxiety arises, you can intentionally go to the areas of your body that feel restful and subtle, as a way to seek a resource in the moment and turn your attention away from the unpleasant sensations of anxiety.
This is referred to as an accelerator in the Unified Mindfulness system because, in using potent life circumstances and events as a cue to practice a mindfulness technique, you’re essentially speeding up the effects of mindfulness. For example, when you have a pain in your leg, you can use that as a trigger to go into Feel technique, and literally pour your attention into the pain, using concentration, clarity and equanimity as the lens of paying attention to it. The more you work with pain in this way, the more you transform your relationship to the pain. Maybe that pain won’t trigger panic in you as much in the future. Maybe you’ll condition yourself to be pretty cool with it coming up (because you know how to process it when it DOES come up). These are some of the fruit of Trigger practice.
Microhit
Informal Practice
Microhits are an informal mode of practicing mindfulness where you apply your full attention to an object of focus (like the breath, or the sounds of nature all around you, or images in your mind) for zero to ten minutes. Maybe it’s 30 seconds. Maybe it’s 8 minutes. You can practice these anywhere. In bed. At your work desk. In the pool. In the shower. On an airplane. Examples of microhits include:
For 60 seconds, repeating lovingkindness phrases to yourself in the shower. “May I live easily. May I be at peace.”
While you’re in bed, track your breath and body sensations for 2 minutes before going to sleep.
Background Practice
Informal Practice
Background practice is similar to microhits; however, this way of applying mindfulness is about applying partial attention to a technique, while applying partial attention to your activity at hand. It’s basically running in the background, and you can even use this modality throughout the day. Duration is not a defining factor of Background Practice. This is designed to bring mindfulness into daily life activities, flavoring your experiences with a level of intentional attention (and even infusing everyday situations with a little more love, compassion, curiosity). Examples include:
While you’re grocery shopping, you can bring attention to your in and out breath at your nostrils. You can bring attention to the rise and fall of your chest, as you walk around the aisles.
While you’re in conversation with someone, repeat the phrases “I love you. I love you” in your mental talk (thinking) space, silently to yourself. See how this changes the way you perceive them, and how it impacts your level of curiosity or interest in the conversation at hand.
While you’re showering, focus on the pleasant body sensations arising when the water hits your skin. How does the temperature impact you? Can you follow the flow of the water? The movement?
A Sample Daily Schedule
This schedule shows you the possibilities of bringing mindfulness into your daily live, and not just relegating it to a formal practice.
7am: Rise for the day
8am-8:30am: Meditate - Formal Practice with guided meditation (30 minutes)
9am-9:30am: Get ready for work. Background practice of Feel Out.
9:30am-12:00pm: Work. While on conference calls, practice Hear Good (sending lovingkindness silently to your clients).
12:00pm-12:10pm: Be Good - Microhit.
12:10pm-12:30pm: Walk outside. Background Practice: Feel Out.
12:30-1pm: Lunch break.
1pm-3pm: Work.
3pm-3:10pm: Feel Rest - Microhit
3:10pm-5:30pm: Work - Client calls. Background practice: Hear Out.
5:30pm-6:00pm: Plan your next day.
6pm-7:30pm: Prep and eat dinner. Practice background or microhit while preparing food and eating. While eating, commit to Mindful Eating for at least 5 minutes of the meal, focusing just on the appreciation techniques to process the meal.
7:30pm-10:30pm: Decompression (activities of your own choosing).
10:30pm: In bed, Hear Out - Microhit (5-10 minutes). Soak in the silence and sounds in your room, outside your window. Then do Be Good - Microhit to send you into sleep with lovingkindness.
Get it! You’re officially equipped for a daily practice.
Remember that you’re worth it. Remember that you have plenty of time for your practice. Remember that your practice comes before anything else.
If you think that you don’t have enough time, then sit twice as long. And remember: your practice comes before all else because mindfulness is scaffolding the foundation on which your best self manifests. Don’t fuck with that foundation. It needs consistent care and attention, or else your work, your relationships, your passions, your sense of self, risk crumbling around you because they’d be resting on shoddy ground.
HOMEWORK:
1.
Set the scene for your daily practice
Invest in a cushion (zafu) or chair. Put together an altar, or simply choose a spot in your home or office where you’re going to sit daily.
Required time: 5-30 minutes
2.
Get clear on your WHY
Why is meditation the most important habit for you to develop at this time in your life? Identify the challenges you’re facing. Identify your goals. If you need support in connecting your goals and challenges with how a mindfulness practice can support you in achieving them, consult with a mindfulness coach. They can help you clarify this piece and set the foundation for a strong practice and technique set for you. As a mindfulness coach, I offer this type of support! Please reach out to me if you’re interested in learning more about working together to set up your mindfulness practice to meet your specific goals and needs.
Required time: 15 minutes-1 hr
3.
Practice daily!
I recommend beginning with a 10 minute guided meditation (formal practice) daily for 30 days. Use my guided meditations to support you, or I recommend Bright Mind app or Mettagroup. Also, consult my sample daily schedule to see how you can integrate other mindfulness modalities like microhits and background practice into your days. If you need support in putting together a schedule of meditation techniques, as well as clarity on what you’re cultivating with each technique, please consult with a mindfulness coach. Reach out to me if you’re interested in learning more about how I can support you in this way! I’d love to help you build your daily schedule and give you context as to what skills and traits you’re cultivating, so that you’re moving toward your goals in an accelerated way.
Required time: Minimum 10 minutes per day
Congratulations! You’ve come to the end of Navigating the Shift.
You are a ROCK star, my friend. Look at you go! This training series is NO JOKE, and I’m so proud of you for leaning into it with curiosity and with your full self.
Process at the pace of your heart: Remember: There’s no rush to get through all the material! Take your time, and go at a pace that works for you. Maybe that means that you do 1 hour of work on the material per week. Or maybe you are feeling available to do more, so you do 30 minutes to an hour per day and get it done in a week! Whatever works for you and your life right now. You can also just put it aside for another time when you’re feeling ready to dive in.
Follow your heart and process at your own pace. This time is NOT about getting as much done as possible, and accomplishing every project we’ve wanted to and never had a chance to! This is a time to listen in, to take care and rest as much as you need, and to honor the intense time that we’re in. We are being beckoned to slow down, to send love to ourselves, and to listen in to find out how we can support ourselves, our loved ones and community in the most gentle and kind ways.
We’re in this together: I’m so happy to support you and answer any questions that come up for you. I’m grateful to be able to hold this container for you. Please email me with questions, reports, insights, ah ha’s, and feedback! I would love to hear you and I honor all that you’re doing and all that is unfolding from you during the Navigating the Shift series.
I’m in awe of you and this shared journey we’re on. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being a part of this mindfulness movement. May this serve as the beginning of this chapter, and may much insight and clarity arise for you on this beautiful path.
We grow in community, and this time calls for a mindfulness movement.
Who in your life can use some relief? Who do you know who’s feeling trapped without a way out? Sharing the tools of mindfulness with others is not just subtle service, it’s significant service. Please share the sign up link with your loved ones, friends, peers, or coworkers so that they receive the series via email. Thank you for being a part of the mindfulness movement, and for inviting others to be a part of it, too. Together, we can rise up in wakeful, loving awareness to support each other in powerful, courageous ways during these times (and beyond).